Mothers & Daughters

By far one of the most difficult relationships in life is that between 

a mother and a daughter. It is so complex I still find myself in awe.

I guess I will not understand until i have my own.

If that ever happens I promise that I will never go a week without talking

to my child. No matter how upset or disappointed I might be 

in the decisions that shes made. Or mad because she moved.

I guess my mother suffers like I do from foolish pride.

But I would never turn my back on my blood. 

How immature is it for a woman in her sixties to refuse to call her daughter.

Well, that's life and we sure cant depend on anyone but ourselves.

Mother, I love you no matter what but you sure have hurt me. 

A letter written by a child, daughter, woman to her mother.

Online Dating

You would think that if someone pays to be on a dating site, that they would at the very least be really looking for something real? Ugh, with that being said, forty dollars later and 2 months down the drain.

I am waving the white flag and calling it quits.

I will be celibate or continue to be celibate.

I will not even bother dating or thinking that there is someone out there for me.

I will not have hope.

I am a realist, always have been.

When did i get lost in this idea of marriage and kids?

I will start my plan of moving to NYC or Paris.

I will be successful and I will depend on myself for happiness.

Sunday Fun Day

It is Sunday, a day that brings many good memories.

Actually one of my favorite days, minus having to go back to work the next day.

Sunday Fun day has been a tradition of mine for as long as I can remember.

As my big 30 creeps up on me, and yes creep because just the other day I remember waking up after my 21st birthday in the bathroom in my mothers house, completely unaware I was naked and using the bathtub as a pillow. Although, that has never happened again I cant help but envy that carefree

attitude I once had. Not that it led to any great accomplishments, and perhaps that's why I am where I am today. But I surely don't regret a thing about my youth in Miami.

Many wish they had even half the fun that I have experienced! Growing up in Miami, and attending the Coral Gables High School (private school reject high) opened the doors to many things.

I was not rich, privileged nor did I live in City Beautiful, but I quickly learned that I liked designer name brands and freshly manicured nails.  My freshman year in highschool which was 1998, I can remember being over dressed, under groomed and under developed.

I never liked high school, I never liked being part of a group, or the thought that I had to be a certain way to be accepted by the so called "cool" kids.

I have alaways done and said what I want, and never believed in peer pressure. Clearly that means you are weak minded if you allow others to dictate your actions. My mother did not raise a follower, much less a yes man. So I spent a lot of time watching the behavior of all these kids and made a decision to hate high school and just get by. 

So, I refused to do anything organized or join any groups. I quickly lost all my middle school friends, and gained a few others but never clinging to anyone very long.

I also learned that it was only a matter of time, til you start fighting over boys.

Boys, which I also avoided like the plague. I made a promise to myself I would not get pregnant, contract a disease or cry over any boy in high school.

I kept my promise minus the crying, because I am a hopeless romantic.

Back on topic. its Sunday and I am going to have a fun day. 

Gone are the days I was in high school and gone are the days I cried over boys.